Forget Courtship…

...They don't even know how to date anymore!

CourtshipI’m old-fashioned.  I like the idea of courtship, even with a modern twist or two, but something happened recently that made me think, “Forget courtship.  Young people don’t even know how to date anymore!”

So what was it?

A teenage girl I know very well received a text from a boy the same age.  It was the first time the boy ever contacted her.  He asked her to be his girlfriend.  Let’s break that down a bit…

  • It was the first contact.
  • He asked her to be his girlfriend.
  • He did it via text.  Let me repeat that one.  He did it via text.

Lest you think I am too hard on the boy, I assure you I’m not.  He gets a pass for two reasons.  First, he’s a young man and likely prone to boneheaded decisions.  Second, his actions are a function of the culture around him and how they do things today.  That said, it caused me to reflect on how I can prepare my children appropriately.

Forget Courtship?

No way, but reframing what it means to date in light of courtship might be a good place to begin reform efforts.  Forget today’s misguided ways and teach your children better things.

Such as?

  • The purpose of dating is to see if a person is a fit for you in marriage.
  • Friendship comes first.  Date people you know already.
  • When it comes time to date, at least call, if not ask in person.  By no means do it via text!
  • If someone asks you to date via text, that’s an automatic disqualifier.
  • When dating, spend copious amounts of time around family… both families.
  • Date in groups of friends, and rarely alone.  When alone… in public.

There’s More

Society’s return to courtship is unlikely, but dating can be improved to something like it with just those key principles already mentioned.  Prayer is important too, both for those dating as well as the parents.

In the end, to forget courtship would be a mistake, but with its unlikely resurgence, parents can still work to instill better notions of dating in the hearts and minds of their children from a young age.Cayman Gabriel Logo